My name is Yzelle. I live in a small town with my husband and children. Today I can say I have a life that I like very much and I am mostly very content.
I have a “before” life and “after” life, with the changing factor being Jesus Christ. From a young age I believed in God and knew that I knew that He existed. But after a very traumatic experience when I was 17 years old, I started to question my faith, my beliefs, my church, and God. Because of a lack of knowledge – not necessarily support – I made the decision to turn away from God and started to deconstruct my beliefs. It was not because I believed He did not exist, but because I was angry at Him and decided I that would reject Him, as I felt rejected and abandoned by Him at the time. This was 1997, and very little trauma information was available back then. There was no internet yet – not in South Africa anyway. It was either a doctor or a pastor, and not one could answer my numerous questions.
I was about 19 years old when I got the opportunity to go overseas. I wanted to go where nobody knew about South Africa, could recognise my accent or have heard of Afrikaans. South Africa was new in the Commonwealth at the time, and I had the opportunities to leave and stay abroad for many years. I always had the desire to believe in something, to have faith in something, and overseas I had a wealth of knowledge coming my way through big book stores and the internet slowly started to become generally available. I experimented with different religions, but did not find one that suited me. For one – a one-direction thing did not work for me. If I changed my beliefs, it must be something that has a two-way option. Ultimately nature was the closest I got to what I was looking for, but Something was still missing. Working for years on cruise ships exposed me to awesome and magical things in nature, and it calmed the storms in me for a while.
I also have a very “difficult” personality-type. You know, the one that comes out red and moody in every test. I had to work very hard to break down the bias and disdain towards my personality: strong but hard, difficult, not suitable for leadership, selfish and has bad relationships with others. It stopped me from being promoted many times, but it also opened a lot of doors for me when I became more skilled as a person.
Sometime in 2007 I found my Bible that my parents gave to me for my 10th birthday. I started to read all the notes I made in there, and I felt that I had been given a second chance to look at God and the Christian faith again. Like He was inviting me to take another chance on Him and see if it is not different this time. I was an adult now, and had an adult’s view of the things that I went through as a child.
In hindsight, I can only testify that even when I was fiercely angry and hurt, God never left me. In hindsight, I saw the doors He opened for me; the grace to go so far away where I could be alone and figure things out on my own. In hindsight, I realised the people, the tools and the knowledge He send my way, to help me overcome what I needed to overcome so that I can become an ozone-friendly human being. The process of breaking down all my beliefs, made me a clean slate; a clean platform to start building from. To build my faith into all truth, and reality, into Him.
In 2008, with my fiance at the time, we made the decision together to follow Jesus. Nicholas was starting his walk around South Africa, and I started my journey at home, but at the same time. To actively build our faith in Jesus. And the mutual agreement between each one of us and God was: it is either all in, or not at all. No looking back. You take me as I am – full force. And two-way communication.
God was very gracious to us. My husband and I can only testify how God has took our request for a two-way relationship to heart. It was not always easy, but it was worth it. He sent people our way that discipled us, taught us, guided us. He revealed Himself to us in many special, kind and hard ways. The detail you will learn as we journey together.
But today, I can honestly say, He took a raging child and turned me into the person that I am today. I have grown into the personality He gave me, into His Presence – Father, Son and Holy Spirit; and love for Him, His creation, and for people; brought me around to His way of doing things and gave me peace. I know who I am and I know where I am going. I know what my identity and purpose is; I know my calling and I know He is the Author of my life, whether I go through challenging times or when I am at peace. I cannot manipulate Him in keeping pain away from me, and I am never alone when I am going through painful times. I get answers to my questions, not always immediately, but He has never left me without one.
While developing Power Code Living, I have had to remind myself and think back to the old times, the “before” times, more often. I prefer to forget it, but then I will not be able to relate to other people’s journeys or share with others what I have learned in the process. I have done many stupid things in my life too, which I had to face the consequences of and where I can only thank God for protecting me too.
So, Power Code Living is first and foremost a place where there is freedom to ask the hard questions, the no-answer questions and the questions nobody else wants you to ask. If I cannot answer you, I know the One Who Knows. Let me introduce you.